Taking a deeper look at what gets in the way of consistently utilizing the power of request in your life is a short cut to discovering unconscious limiting conversations.
The complete list is almost endless. But, here are some “limiting internal conversations” that are common.
- I should be able to handle it myself. (the superman or superwoman strategy)
- Why would anyone want to help me? (the “I am not worthy” strategy)
- People might say no. (the rejection avoidance strategy)
- What if they agree that I should be able to handle it myself? (the “I’m afraid I am a slacker and you’ll agree” strategy.)
- Even if they help, they won’t do it the way it needs to be done. (the perfectionist strategy)
- Why would I ask for help, when I am the uber-giver/helper. It is my job to give help, not ask for it. (the “no one is as good at helping as me” strategy)
- If I ask for help, then I am going to have to slow down and explain it all to them. (the “efficiency and me being the prime mover is the key” strategy)
- Will they think of my competency if I am asking for help? (the “they may not think I am special” strategy)
- What is they say yes and then screw it up? (the “threat assessment is everything” strategy)
- I don’t want to ask for help until I have this completely figured out, so I can be clear with them (the “I can’t ask until I have perfect wisdom regarding this” strategy)
- If I ask for help, they are going to slow me down. (The “rate of motion is everything” strategy)
- If I bring them into this project, they probably won’t listen and do what I say. (the “I am the prime mover and right about this” strategy)
- If I bring them in and they disagree with me, it will create a lot of unnecessary conflict. (the conflict avoidance strategy)
These are all born of survival strategies designed to either:
- Be right
- Be in control
- Look good
- Stay safe and comfortable
So, one of the beauties of becoming a master at effectively utilizing requests is it naturally interrupts our inherently limiting survival strategies. And it opens the door to effective action and unprecedented or optimal results.
The next time you are stuck and notice you have not considered making a request that could open the door to getting unstuck, consider which survival strategy you are indulging that is getting in the way.
Make a game out of it. It can actually become quite entertaining.