What’s The Big Deal?
By Kris Kile
The word “transformation” is so ubiquitous in the common vernacular of our culture these days that it has lost much of its meaning. I even saw a commercial from Burger King that said you can transform your hamburger. Seriously?
But, what we are talking about is
shifting the fundamental assumptions
out of which you live your life.
We unconsciously accept the vast majority of the assumptions we live in without even noticing them. We all have a very ingrained set of internal conversations about the way life is. We have internal conversations about “the way I am,” “the way you are,” and “the way it is.” These normally just run in the background of our mind or unconsciousness–unquestioned and unexamined. They are accepted as if they are concrete reality. But, they are not concrete reality. They are our own personal subjective version of reality.
These assumptions, for the most part,
determine our experience of living.
The big deal about transformation is that it is a process by which you can shift from the set of assumptions you currently are in to a new set of assumptions that open up more freedom for effective action, resulting in new possibilities and opportunities in life.
The challenge is this…If my internal assumptions are running largely in my unconsciousness, how am I supposed to get at them, to do something about them?
A good starting point is to stop and consider the experience you are having in your life in any particular area, or in general.
The experience of life you are having is a key indicator
of the efficacy (or non-efficacy) of the assumptions you are living in.
If life is below par in some area, instead of resisting it, you can choose to release your felt need for it to look a particular way, and start getting curious about what internal conversations are going on in you that are fueling that undesired experience. What assumptions are you living in, that are causing the dissonance?
This is an ongoing practice and discipline. The need for it never goes away. The place to always start is the experience of the present moment. The present moment is all we ever have, anyway.
No one is perfect, so we all have experiences of life that are not up to par with our expectations at any particular time. The watchwords for this discipline of self-observance are: openness, curiosity, care and courage. We’ll discuss them more another time.
But, for now, self observe, as if you are stepping out of yourself and openly, neutrally observing yourself.
Where is your experience of life not up to your desire or longing?
Where are you experiencing frustration, disappointment, tiredness, exhaustion, resignation, anger, contempt, anxiety, numbness, fear, tension or stress? Not that these are the entirety of your experience. Life is usually a mixed bag of things that are working and things that are not working.
But, when you consider this, what first comes to mind? I promise you that you are not alone in it. There are many others having the same experience. If you are willing to courageously identify it, you establish a starting point to move through it towards what you desire.
What specific area would you like to transform the experience you are having? Journal about it. Identify and write down what comes to mind.